Learning to Trust

Less than 3 weeks ago, this beautiful little creature was placed in our arms and her life as well as ours would never be the same. So many changes were upon her all at once: new sights, sounds, and smells to say the least. Though that afternoon was a blur of emotion and events, one thing stands out and I hope won't be forgotten. From the moment we saw her sweet little face and those dark eyes that seemed to be filled with such uncertainty and fear, we wanted more than anything for her to know our love and as a result to learn to trust us.

Those things that had at one time preoccupied us (developmental milestones, health status, smiles, pretty little outfits) quickly faded as we watched what she now faced. We wanted her to know that we understood what she was going through, that we would care for her, provide for her, and ultimately love her as best we knew how.

At first, things were slow to change but after a few days we began to see a trust beginning to develop within her. Her body which was initially rigid and defensive began to relax and she made more eye contact. She started to eat a little more and would cry when I left her sight. After a few days, we saw that long-awaited smile and eventually the giggle that would melt our hearts.

To watch her now (not even 3 weeks later) is nothing short of miraculous. Yesterday, we observed her walk all around the house exploring new things and new people on her own, unafraid. She knew I was there, though she didn't need to see me at every moment. She will happily go off and play with her siblings (who she's only known for 7 days) and sometimes with their friends (who she is just meeting for the first time) in another room and will let them know when she's ready to see Mommy again. She will laugh out loud, be silly, and do so many of the things you would expect an 18 month old to do.

She still has her moments of fear and grief. You can see it on her face and in her eyes when it's happening. But those moments are few and far between now. I can say with certainty that it was nothing within us that brought about her newfound trust. It was all the Lord's work and for that we are grateful.

Our journey to Lia has taught us many things but perhaps one of the greatest is the joy that is to be found when we entrust ourselves to the One who loves us perfectly and who is worthy of that trust.