It started over having to pay $32 for landing on someone else's property in Monopoly.
That's how it started. But then it progressed.
To pouting.
Then crying.
Then screaming.
Then yelling.
Banging.
Throwing.
Kicking.
45 minutes of the worst tantrum I've seen yet.
It started with Monopoly but really, I don't think it had anything to do with Monopoly by the time it was over.
I'm not surprised by it. In fact, I'm more surprised that these episodes haven't occurred more frequently considering all that she's been through.
But that doesn't make it any easier to experience.
When He called us to join Him on this journey, He never once promised that it would be easy.
But He did promise something even better than the easy road.
His presence.
He gave us (and all that follow Him) the assurance that He would always, always, be with us. And today, through the worst of it, I know He was present. Pouring out the wisdom, grace, compassion, and nerves of steel that I so desperately needed but severely lacked.
For 45 minutes I prayed without ceasing and for 45 minutes I had inexplicable, indescribable peace.
I'm sure I didn't do everything right. In fact I know I didn't.
But His grace is sufficient for me, for His power is made perfect in weakness.
And if in my weakness, she catches a glimpse of the grace that can heal her heart, then weak I will gladly be.
Bless your heart my friend! We have been there about 6 times now between the two of them since we have been home. Exactly what you were describing. The littlest, tiny things seem to set them off which I think is a result of the pent up emotion they are carrying. So glad that He has gone before us and will stand in the huge gap between our weaknesses and His healing.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry, but so glad that His grace is sufficient, so glad for the peace he bestowed you with, so glad that she is home with you and able to work through the loss that she feels but doesn't know how to express!!
ReplyDeleteThankful for Him showing us the way!
What a beautiful post that touches the heart of this mom. Thank you for sharing your faith through this transition.
ReplyDeleteWould you be willing to let us repost this on WAGI? (www.wearegraftedin.com) If so, we'd just need a brief biography and a picture to use when it is reposted.
Feel free to contact me with any questions you may have and/or to let me know if you would be willing.
Thanks!
Stephanie (smurphy28@juno.com)
Angela, I know how painful it is to watch our children deal with grief and adjustment...how you dealt with it is admirable, God IS the only one who can heal our children and give us the strength we need...I'll pray for you both!
ReplyDeleteWish I had had this wisdom when we adopted Jadon and Yana. You're doing exactly the right thing with Lily. Bless you!
ReplyDeleteJust read this on We are Grafted In. I am acquainted with not knowing exactly how to handle things and maybe not necessarily handling it correctly. I have learned more about leaning on God's grace than ever before since we got home with our Lily.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to following your blog. When I saw your little one was named Lily too it really stood out to me. :) Thanks for the honesty and sharing your heart.