I remember my fear. My concerns over her special need. We had checked it off as a need we would consider, but this was no checklist. This was forever.
What would it mean for her? What would it mean for us and for our other kids at home? Are we really meant to be her forever family?
I remember, after talking with my husband, calling our social worker back to say "Yes, we accept" but instead, being overcome with doubt, having to say, "I'm sorry. I just need to think about it a little longer."
I believe there are times when it's an obvious "yes." And times when it's a difficult "no." But this particular time was a time when fear of the unknown almost caused me to miss out on something (and someone) too beautiful for words.
How thankful I am that in that moment, in the midst of my storm of fear and doubt, He impressed these words upon my heart, "Trust Me. And simply love her as I do." A reminder that I didn't need, nor should I expect to know, all the details concerning the future. I just needed to trust the One who did know and who equips those who follow His call.
From that point on, though the future was no clearer, there was peace. And joy. And anticipation of what was to come.
I picked up the phone. I called. And I said, "Yes, we accept her referral."
And I'm so glad I did. Because I simply cannot imagine my life without this little girl.